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Saturday 7 September 2013

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Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

by Sean / 09/07/2013 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

by brycepetrillo / 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 6:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 09/07/2013 at 12:50am / United States / Miscellaneous