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Saturday 17 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I REALISED THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY COOK A MEAL OUTSIDE OF WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (36358)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, As I Returned Home, I Noticed Some Movement Inside Mah House . Thinking It Was A Break-in, I Called 911 . It Was Mah Friends An Some Coworkers Trying To Throw Me A Surprise Birthday Party . Nobody's Said A Word To Me Since . FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (8178)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Yesterday, one of the kids in my nieghborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46088) - you deserved it (7512)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discoverd thathen my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervou I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassd I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46244) - you deserved it (7321)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, we were having a family dinner with mah boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen,hen we were getting the food ready, he proposd. I screamd. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tasd him in the leg. fat FML

#20841540
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57884) - you deserved it (6726)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen . I was freaked out, but I followed him in . There was nobody in the room . I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house .

#20841635
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54983) - you deserved it (4593)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I was watcing TV wit my boyfriend, wen a weird wart-removal ad cummed on. He watced in disgust as te lady's wart said rude tings to er. Ten e looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (4428)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of mah cocktard of a ( boyfriend ) making out on mah sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

yesterday while in the restroom washing mah hands, a grl decided to let one rip while in the stall!! When she came out she gave me a drty look of disgust and said, ( At least wait until I leave!! ) She and I were the only ones in the restroom!! FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45364) - you deserved it (3047)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)



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