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Friday 21 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (64335) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (10146)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (8366)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51244) - you deserved it (7730)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68907) - you deserved it (6558)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49464) - you deserved it (4845)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (3244)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
51 comments


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