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Monday 13 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my grandparents at tere farm. Wen I went to pee in te outouse, I noticed a round ting in te middle of te ole, so I peed on it. It was a beeive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (21144)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

TODAY... THE REGIONAL MANAGER OF MAH COMPANY CUMMD OUT TO DO SOME PERFORMANCE REVIEWS. I WAS SO NERVOU THAT MAH PALMS WERE SWEATY... ANHEN HE REACHD OUT TO SHAKE MAH HAND... I BLURTD OUT... "I'M SORRY... U MADE ME WET." REAL FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (9183)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm so strapped 4 cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (6688)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commentd on what the actors were doing!! I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour!! FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79756) - you deserved it (5501)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

yesterday I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: ( Blow me. ) No thanks , dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (5418)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's harbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (4819)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our cat did!! My five-year-old trid to flush him down the toilet!! FML

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, your okay."

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY I GAVE MAH BOSS A GIFT CARD AS A LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT SINCE I WASN'T IN THE OFFICE ON HIS ACTUAL BIRTHDAY. HE ACCUSED ME OF TRYING TO BRIBE MAH WAY TO A PROMOTION AN SUSPENDED ME ON THE SPOT. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54437) - you deserved it (3046)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at te supermarket wen an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for er from a ig self. Te moment I took ands off almost-full sopping cart, se made off wit it. I ended up getting trown out by security after se claimed I was trying to steal it from er. FML

#20661009
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (3018)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, a woman approached me in the street an slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, an I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town 4 the looool first time since my childhood to attend a wedding.

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47320) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test !! They never gave me a drug test !! mega FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (2859)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)



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