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TODAY... THE REGIONAL MANAGER OF MAH COMPANY CUMMD OUT TO DO SOME PERFORMANCE REVIEWS. I WAS SO NERVOU THAT MAH PALMS WERE SWEATY... ANHEN HE REACHD OUT TO SHAKE MAH HAND... I BLURTD OUT... "I'M SORRY... U MADE ME WET." REAL FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commentd on what the actors were doing!! I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour!! FML
Today, my grlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's harbrush. FML
TODAY I GAVE MAH BOSS A GIFT CARD AS A LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT SINCE I WASN'T IN THE OFFICE ON HIS ACTUAL BIRTHDAY. HE ACCUSED ME OF TRYING TO BRIBE MAH WAY TO A PROMOTION AN SUSPENDED ME ON THE SPOT. FML
Today, I was at te supermarket wen an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for er from a ig self. Te moment I took ands off almost-full sopping cart, se made off wit it. I ended up getting trown out by security after se claimed I was trying to steal it from er. FML
Today, a woman approached me in the street an slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, an I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town 4 the looool first time since my childhood to attend a wedding.
Friday 27 March 2015