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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (69521)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

TODAY I MISSED MULTIPLE CALLS FROM THE COMPANY I APPLIED TO. THAT WAS THE SUPERVISOR CALLING WANTING TO HIRE ME. I THEN REMEMBERED MAH IDIOTIC VOICEMAIL I MADE MONTHS AGO WHERE I PRETENDED TO ANSWER AND SAY STUPID STUFF FOR 5 MINUTES. I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET THE JOB. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (49905)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today ma ten-year-old sister ad to write out ma job application cuz no one can read ma terrible andwriting . fat FML

#20628506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (34966)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY, I POPPED A PIMPLEHILE STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT!! WHEN I LOOKED OVER THE WOMAN IN THE CAR NEXT TO ME WAS LAUGHING, AN HAD HER CAMERA PHONE OUT!! MEGA FML

#20627066
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (15458)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday I Agreed To Go On A Date With The Creepy Guy From My Economic Class Because I'm So Broke That I Could Really Use The Free Meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45525) - you deserved it (13819)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50493) - you deserved it (11235)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

TODAY, MY PARENTS DECIDD TO WAKE ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY. THEY FLASHD THE LIGHTS AND YANKD OFF MY BD SHEETS. I SLEEP NAKD. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (10618)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overhered my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a vrtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51244) - you deserved it (6818)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I summoned the courage to call mah abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't u go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. mega FML

#20628087
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (6572)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today , six weeks before my wedding , my mother decidd to claim that she never agred on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she plannd in the first place. FML

#20626669
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50178) - you deserved it (4069)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Taday I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticd a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing drectly towards the shower which I stood in butt-nakd!! I live by myself an have recently only movd in!! FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62393) - you deserved it (3330)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to go to the hospital 4 an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife an I just bought a house an moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows an rows of cherry blossom trees. real FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (3235)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

yesterday mah parents threatend to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to thier new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they rantd at me about how I should speak mah mind more and not let myself be controlld by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (3178)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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