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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

thinking I was alone at work... I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power looool Rangers. I turned around to fine out I wasn't alone; a cute grl was staring at me... unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (18852)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing fir a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, ( I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I noticed a stray string on a seam of my looool pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later I realized it looked lyk I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (10834)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today , mah halitosi was so bad that when I blew onto mah solution in chemistry class , it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (9764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

my friend and I were exchanging storie with one another . I barely got a few sentence in before they startd mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggerd", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbas hipster" . Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (6844)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold yur hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

#20581665
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (5141)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that mah daughter has been stuffing mah push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home !! She's 9 !! The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services !! FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, AT WORK AS A GYNECOLOGIST, I CALLED IN MAH LAST PATIENT OF THE DAY . AS SOON AS I TOOK A PEEK, I NOTICED THAT SHE HAD STUCK GOOGLY-EYES ABOVE HER VAGINA . SHE TOLD ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE NOT TO BE AFRAID, CUZ ( SHE DOESN'T BITE . ) FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I had to axplain to mah grlfriand onca again that tha dry skin sha picks off har faat balong in tha trash , not on our coffaa tabla. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (4126)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah English teacher used the word "interpretate" again . This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them . It's over a page long . I'm meant to be learning things from this woman . FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was yelld athile I was shopping by some lady, because she saw mah tattoo on mah arm. She screamd that I'm the ( spawn of Satan ) and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39955) - you deserved it (3597)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

yesterday my doctor askd me how often I drink, and I respondd, "Socially." My three-year-old pipd up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. fat FML

Today, I got called an ( evil Nazi bitc ) because I let a customer know tat tis is te last day our store will ave free plastic bags . real FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3211)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)



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