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TODAY , I WOKE UP WITH MY FACE COVERED IN BLOOD !! TURNS OUT THAT YESTERDAY AT MY COLLEAGUE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I STARTED YELLING "NAPPY TIME!" BEFORE FALLING OUT OF MY HAMMOCK AN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GROUND !! FML
Today, I was in te break room wit my colleagues an our awful boss . As ever, e was talking tras, convinced tat is jokes were actually funny . Te window was open, an it was cilly . As e walked by it, I mangled my words an said, "Cedric, could you please sut your mout?" FML
Today , ma 16-year-old son convincd ma 14-year-old daugter tat se wasn't allowd to use te ladies batroom at te sopping centre , because se wasn't wereing a dress like te grl on te sign . He told er grls in pants always usd te oter one . Se believd im . Tis is ma legacy . fat FML
Taday I had a lunch meeting with important people from mah company. While drinking from mah wine glass someone crackd a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over mah lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrifid look on mah boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today , I had to get my grandparents out of jail , cuz they were caught having sex in a public place!! They excused their actions by saying that u can only be young and stupid once , so if u continue doing stupid actions , u r still young!! FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his grlfriend eyed me up . I made a shocked face at him and kept walking . The next thing I knew, his grlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in life . FML
Today , I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of mah tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up , I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hourhile I put mah uniform through the dryer. FML
yesterday while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctor and nurse would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
Today, our guast lacturar told us to imagina 25,000 daad koalas in our lactura taatra, an if tat didn't maka us amotional tan wa didn't cara about tam. Sa tan want on a rant, during wic sa ancouragd us to join ta ( koala army ). raal FML
Today...hile walking to mah car after work... I witnessd some moronho was textinghile riding her bike running right into mah parkd car... resulting in a broken side mrror... a damagd windshield... two dents... an 4 her... a broken phone an nose. She's threatening to sue me 4 damages.
Friday 27 March 2015