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Sunday 7 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (57788)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (39072)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (37316)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34917) - you deserved it (7992)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

#20579242
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (5305)

On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (4877)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35376) - you deserved it (4837)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45514) - you deserved it (2875)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (2527)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

#20579065
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (2474)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

#20579736
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2091)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)



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