Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I looool had orderd near mah seat. I immediately ran up to him and askd him to stop stealing mah food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Second later the attendant cummd out with mah actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (68974)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

TODAY , I SHOWED MY AUNT AN MOTHER MY TATTOO. THEY BOTH BURST OUT LAUGHING. FML

#20562807
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13204) - you deserved it (31231)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, ( Fat ass. ) I turned around an demanded to see the manager. Once he came an heard the situation, he looked at me an said, ( Well, it's lyk he's wrong, right? ) mega FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37626) - you deserved it (17484)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I almost lost my vrginity at the age of 34. After yeres of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am.

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70160) - you deserved it (10601)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today I Awoke To Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, "Baby You're Making Me Hard." Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? "It's Jake, From State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY , I GAVE MY GRLFRIEND AN ORGASM 4 THE FRST TIME. SHE'S A SCREAMER. HER DOG MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS ATTACKING HER , BECAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CUMMD OVER AND STARTD SAVAGING ME. BIG FAT FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50350) - you deserved it (5743)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday, I Was Violently Throwing Up Due To Severe Morning Sickness!! My Boyfriend Looked At Me, Then Turned An Walked Away!! In The End, My Daughter Gave Me Some Paper Towel An Her Juice!! My 18-month-old Is More Supportive Of My Pregnancy Than Her 30-year-old Father!! Mega FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37904) - you deserved it (5546)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I cummed home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home mah 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick yur ass." The babby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Yesterday, ma usband called me, saying e was in te ospital wit a friend wo'd just broken is arm. Too bad I ten eard a female voice in te background mutter, "Se'll never buy tat". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55964) - you deserved it (3788)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I ad to present a project 4 ma science class. I began explaining ma project; looking at looool all te bord people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness ten causd me to laug ysterically, causing ma classmates to laug. My teacer felt sorry 4 me an told me to sit down. FML

Today , a customer cummed up to me and asked if I knew were te make-up aisle was. I pointed im in te rigt drection but e just gasped and said , "O so u DO know were it is!" and walked away , roaring wit laugter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I was on a bumpy bus ride an had to write a note so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly looool woman then yelled at me accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off an I had to wait an hour in the rain fir the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I casually mentiond to mah mom that mah boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She lookd me dead in the eye and said if I ever movd out... she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confusd. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: