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Today , a few months after my co-worker had stoppd wearing her engagement ring , I decidd to puttd on the moves and start flrting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had did , and that she's nowhere near over him , despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn!! Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it!! FML
Today , I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it , an as her legs just looked like they needed touching up , I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time , she cummed back , thanked me an left. Her legs were still hary. big fat FML
Today , my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I trid taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night , and when he trid to take some , I said , ( I'm sorry , I don't share food ) to get him back. His response? ( I can tell. ) FML
Today,hile at boyfriend's house , I needd to use the bathroom!! I decidd to be a good girlfriend an leave the seat up for him!! He later yelld at me for putting the seat down because he needd to take a dump!!
Today..!! I gave my son a fork..!! so I could try teaching him how to eat with one!! So far..!! he's been doing all the teaching!! He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork..!! I'll get shankd!! real FML
Today, it was raining eavily so I wore ma black ponco as I walkd to work. On te way tere I noticd an old and seemingly omeless man following me. I turnd around to confront im. He pickd up a stick and screamd "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. big fat FML
Today , My Roommates Decidd To Old An Intervention. Tey Told Me I Would Ave To Break Up Wit My Boyfriend Because Tey Don't Want People Aving Sex In Our Apartment During College Exams. My Boyfriend Agred. FML
Friday 27 March 2015