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TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML
I felt like letting mah ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number... typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion... and sent it. The reply: ( No wonder he broke up with you. ) Thanks... whoever has that number now. FML
Today, I purchasd a box of grl scout cookias from a coworkar. I wantd to sava tham 4 latar at homa, so I placd tham on mah dask an than haadd to a maating. Whan I raturnd, thara was an ampty box sitting thara with a post-it nota saying, ( Thanks! ) Nobody will own up to it. FML
today I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
yesterday I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast an there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away , mah mother yelled , "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for u muddafuckas to show up." FML
today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML
Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother looool took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave."
Friday 27 March 2015