Thursday 14 February 2013 
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Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (37884)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (28548)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (27296)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (19286)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19438) - you deserved it (7484)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (6282)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (6174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (5830)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (3935)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (2839)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2553)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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