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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (30020)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after having lost mah phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have mah phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found mah original phone. FML

#20491153
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24112) - you deserved it (14646)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was running late fir work and quickly grabbed mah outfit from the dryer. I hered the crackling of static as I took out mah shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when mah co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to mah back. FML

#20491168
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (7134)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday I was washing the dishes at work . I had to pee really bad but frst I wanted to finish the dishes . A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine . I screamed like a grl and pissed my pants . FML

#20492292
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5049)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis . Before I knew wat was going on, she said, ( It's not the size that matters though . It's how u use it . So I guess your ok . ) FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

TODAY, AFTER NERELY 5 MONTHS OF TRYING FIR A BABY, I FOUND OUT MAH WIFE HAS CONTINUED TO TAKE THE PILL AS IT GAVE HER A BETTER IDEA OF HER CYCLE AND THUS WHEN SHE'D BE "MOST FERTILE" . FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (4505)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

TODAY, FOR THE FRST TIME IN WEEKS, MAH WIFE FELT FRISKY, AND WE STARTED FOOLING AROUND. HALF-WAY THROUGH UNDRESSING ME, SHE BOLTED OUT, CLAIMING SHE HAD THE SHITS. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, SHE TEARFULLY CALLED OUT FROM THE BATHROOM, BEGGING ME TO BRING HER A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET PAPER.

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (4458)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS GIVEN A WEDGIE BY A COMPLETE STRANGER IN A CROWDED BAR. FAT FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in teres, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissue an a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minute of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse . Bieng totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend . She said she trusts him because she loves him . They've been dating for 2 months . I've been her daughter for 25 years . looool FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (2152)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Taday I woke up to a voice-mail from ma manager saying I ad te day off!! Excitd, I made plans wit ma friends!! A few minutes ago I got a call from ma oter manager yelling at me for not sowing up, and te original manager reveald e ad me confusd wit anoter girl!! real FML

#20491470
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (1833)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)



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