Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML
Today, I was running late fir work and quickly grabbed mah outfit from the dryer. I hered the crackling of static as I took out mah shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when mah co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to mah back. FML
yesterday I was washing the dishes at work . I had to pee really bad but frst I wanted to finish the dishes . A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine . I screamed like a grl and pissed my pants . FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis . Before I knew wat was going on, she said, ( It's not the size that matters though . It's how u use it . So I guess your ok . ) FML
TODAY, FOR THE FRST TIME IN WEEKS, MAH WIFE FELT FRISKY, AND WE STARTED FOOLING AROUND. HALF-WAY THROUGH UNDRESSING ME, SHE BOLTED OUT, CLAIMING SHE HAD THE SHITS. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, SHE TEARFULLY CALLED OUT FROM THE BATHROOM, BEGGING ME TO BRING HER A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET PAPER.
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in teres, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissue an a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minute of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse . Bieng totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend . She said she trusts him because she loves him . They've been dating for 2 months . I've been her daughter for 25 years . looool FML
Taday I woke up to a voice-mail from ma manager saying I ad te day off!! Excitd, I made plans wit ma friends!! A few minutes ago I got a call from ma oter manager yelling at me for not sowing up, and te original manager reveald e ad me confusd wit anoter girl!! real FML
Friday 27 March 2015