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Monday 28 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing outhile chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. real FML

#20484025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (41049)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:23pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ave been waiting 4 a call from a job I applid for . I soon got a text from ma current boss, wo doesn't know I'm job unting, letting me know tat te recruiter was trying to reac me . Turns out ma number on ma resumé was wrong . mega FML

#20483477
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (34791)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I Was Telling My Boyfriend How Proud I Am Of Him Fir Finding A Really Good Job. He Interrupted Me To Tell Me That My Breath Smelled Like His Cat's. Mega FML

#20484067
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (7975)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm getting marrid. A few months ago, I allowd my mother in-law to take care of catering. She beggd to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number an order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decidd to order food I'm allergic to. mega FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I recieved a brthday present from a friend . It was the very same gift I gave looool to her fir Christmas . FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today someone put ahole packet of glitter on the blade of mah ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticedhen I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND CAME OVER FIR A FAMILY BRUNCH , DURINGHICH HE TOLD MAH MOTHER , IN VIVID DETAIL , HOW HE GETS THE SHITSHENEVER HE EATS KALE CHIPS. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT MAH BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN STEALING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FROM ME AND MAH FIANCÉ. MY WEDDING IS TOMORROW MORNING. GUESS WHO MAH BEST MAN IS. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (2528)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

today I had to looool have major oral surgery . Needless to say I am in ned of some heavy pain medication . My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never calld in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise . This has been going back and forth fir hours . FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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