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Thursday 17 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12615) - you deserved it (28814)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (18905)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (14149)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (9138)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (8390)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38908) - you deserved it (4907)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2291)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (2001)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (1842)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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