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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the grl of dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. ( Just the two of us, ) she said. I had to turn her down cuz I'm 17 years old an never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (35470)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today,ile reading an erotic story I was more excitd tat te autor usd a conjunctive adverb tan te sexual content in te story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (11432)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, mah vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forcd to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me cuz he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all inhite. Before leaving, little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38547) - you deserved it (4822)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today... mah husband suggested a way 4 us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

#20456391
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (4639)

On 01/13/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today , I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing mah neighbor snore through mah apartment wall. FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to fine that she had knitted cloths for some of the household appliances . The toaster was wereing a dress . FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms . I was so looool happy . Then, I got the hiccups . FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all groundd until one of us confesse our obviously non-existent secret. mega FML

#20457387
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Yesterday, I Was Making Wedding Plans Wit Ma Fiancé. His Moter Kept Complaining About Everyting, An Insisted It Was Pointless To Plan Because It's Just Our "frst Marriage." Se Ten Tried To Convince Im To Dump Me An Move Back In Wit Er Because "se's All E'll Ever Need." FML



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