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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts . Upon waking up after my frst time using it, I forgot I was wearing it an thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed an split my head open on my bedside table . FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (11704)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend calld me anti-social. To prove him wrong I textd one of my friends. She textd back, "Who's this??" big fat FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (7170)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnd that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learnd this first-hand when mah 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a fight with mah boyfriend over a grl he is close to. He later arrivd with flowers fir what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were fir her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (6593)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during dinner, mah mum asked y I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was cuz mah girlfriend had cheated on me!! At some point during mah venting, I asked y this stuff always seems to happen to me!! My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." real FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddie drag his nearly-comatose carcas back home from a strip club!! FML

#20442898
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (4520)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today.!! !! my boyfriend sowed up at my grandmoter's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-sirt !! Wen I took im aside asked im wat te ell e was tinking.!! !! e lost is temper and stormed out !! FML

#20442809
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache!! FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today while on a first date with a charming guy I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along since my pads were in there and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me.

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I lerened tat ma doctor lost all of ma immunization records. I can't start law scool witout tem. mega FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (1476)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)



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