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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Trid To Be Cute By Sitting On Top Of Boyfriend's Belly . While Getting On Top, I Accidentally Kned Him In His Nuts . In Pain, He Joltd His Head Up And Endd Up Banging His Head Against Mine . Now I Have A Black Eye And He Can't Walk Without Waddling . FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I went to church 4 the frst time in mah life!! They had a Jesus statue at the altar , an I noticed he was surprisingly muscular!! Ten minutes later , I had to excuse myself , after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus!! FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (34672)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, wile going on a jog troug te countryside, I discovered tat it is actually possible outside of crappy TV sows to ave a rifle leveled at you, and to be souted at to, "Get off my land." mega FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (16497)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today my dad askd me wen I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly I told im next year. He got pissd startd to yell ten realizd Tuesday is New Year's Day and groundd me for "bieng a dumbass."

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (8350)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggerd an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I returned to Germany fir a break from studies abroad. I got lost while out fir groceries, so I tried asking a guy fir drections. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23044) - you deserved it (4791)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

yesterday my boyfriend proposd to me with the prettiest... most simple ring I have ever seen. I calld my sister to tell her the good news... and her response was... ( I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's. ) FML

#20432536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watchd as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposd to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissd him and shoutd, "Yes!" With us still highly confusd, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat 4 not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store athich I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (3402)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, A STRANGER WAS KIND ENOUGH TO PLOW MAH DRIVEWAY DURING A BLIZZARD. HOWEVER, THEY WERE NOT KIND ENOUGH TO LEAVE THERE NUMBER AFTER PLOWING THE FRONT END OF MAH CAR. BIG FAT FML

#20431369
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States

Today , I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin , you could hear a pin drop , an I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. mega FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33607) - you deserved it (2444)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States



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