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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5504) - you deserved it (76153)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

TADAY I JOKINGLY TRIED TO CONVINCE MA GRLFRIEND TAT WYOMING WAS A GOVERNMENT CONSPRACY AND DID NOT EXIST. SE BELIEVED ME. MEGA FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I ad a presentation in Frenc class. I was so nervous , te frst ting I said wen I got up tere was , "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25216) - you deserved it (4792)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, Ma Dog Died An I Told Ma Grandfater I Wanted Er To Be Cremated . I Cummed Ome Later To Find Im Burning Er In Our Barbecue Pit . FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Taday I got punchd in the face after a stranger askd for a light didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette . Now my nose looks worse than his . FML

#20193519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16982) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, as mah friend was rudely rummaging through mah phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas . Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly . That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas . FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (2065)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

I droppd mah handbag into a water-filld gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of mah bag... I lookd up. There was mah ex... with the girl he left me fir walking past... timd exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons.

#20194448
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm - love - by shamefaced (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today , in my AP Biology class , a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming , tohich my friend gushed , "Yeah! It's been melted for , like , months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that wife,ho is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entre bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse,hen I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (1787)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, one of mah work colleagues was staring at mah severe sunburn. She wantd to know if she could "peel" me, when mah sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no 4 an answer, an I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (1728)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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