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Wednesday 21 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, ma friend and I were playing trut or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so tey dard me to run nakd into ma neigbor's yard wile yelling, "Help! Te pixie looool took ma penis!" I ran screaming rigt into tere big family reunion.

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (32532)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today... I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs an said... ( Honk honk ). Unbeknownst to me... my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (27454)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Yesterday I yet again purposely avoidd the 'Health an Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up . real FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7786) - you deserved it (15809)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have a final for mah precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realizd that I'd forgotten mah calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (5664)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, dog climbd onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food!! Then whind until I showd him how to get down!! He does this every night!! My dog is a genius!! FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16276) - you deserved it (4376)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran into mah boss outsida of work. Sha smild, and startd trying to hava an in-dapth chat with ma. I wouldn't hava mindd, if it waran't 4 tha fact I ran into har at a club,hilst thay wara having an S and M thama night. And wa wara both fully drassd up 4 it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19798) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try an figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses an waiting around, there solution was to ( Google it. ) FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

TADAY I HAD A SEX DREAM, WHICH I INTERRUPTED BY HAVING AN OCD-INDUCED PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE APPARENTLY WE WEREN'T USING PROTECTION. MY BRAIN WON'T EVEN LET ME ENJOY THE FANTASY ACTION I GET IN MY SLEEP. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today... whilst at a red light in car... a homeless man with a spray bottle an a dirty rag came over to clean windows. He started with the driver's window... which was wide open... an whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously lyk urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today , I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (1437)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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