Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14030) - you deserved it (29658)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4580) - you deserved it (16387)
On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you deserved it (15550)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (14940)
Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13367) - you deserved it (5277)
On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (4024)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm - kids - by grrr1234 -
Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12266) - you deserved it (3480)
On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24712) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (2752)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:01pm - love - by Jacqueline (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15926) - you deserved it (2242)
On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22333) - you deserved it (1362)
Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12815) - you deserved it (1191)
On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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