Wednesday 30 May 2012 
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Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14666) - you deserved it (37237)
On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (6540)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (6409)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (6331)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (3109)
On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (3055) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (2524)
On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (2354)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:51am - work - by chlorinesmells - United States
Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (2235)
On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21555) - you deserved it (2226)
On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (2028)
On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13953) - you deserved it (1444)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17829) - you deserved it (1373)
On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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