Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4274) - you deserved it (18490)
On 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by BoomHeadshot (woman) - Australia
Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5961) - you deserved it (16504)
On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3933) - you deserved it (14679)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by tandc (man) - United States
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15496) - you deserved it (3162)
On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11252) - you deserved it (2000)
On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (1944)
On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16109) - you deserved it (1608)
On 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm - animals - by Monkeyless (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14175) - you deserved it (1605)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (1591)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (1096)
On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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