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2DAY I WAS IN MAH NEW BOYFRIEND'S APARTMENT FIR THE FRST TIME. AS I WAS FLIPPING THROUGH HIS PHOTO ALBUMS, I CUMMED ACROSS ONE FULL OF DISTURBINGLY CANDID PICTURES OF ME. I FOUND SOME AS EARLY AS MAH TRIP TO THE STATE FAIR, THREE YERES AGO. I MET MAH BOYFRIEND TWO MONTHS AGO. FML

#3398201
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (154884) - you deserved it (9877)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an arhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the grl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84588) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today...hile reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumpd... I askd myself... "What the hell is solid water?" Then I hered looool my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet 4 monsters. FML

#3142518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (79894)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today..!! mah 11 year old brother walkd in on me sitting on mah boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage!! He tiltd his head a little and then said ( Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposd to be on top? ) My boyfriend laughd and gave him a high-five!! FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101080) - you deserved it (31136)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

TODAY, I ARRIVD HOME TO FINE MY CAT DEAD AN NOTE SAYING, "SORRY, I TRIPPD OVER HIM." NOT ONLY IS MY CAT DEAD, BUT I WAS ROBBD BY A POLITE THIEF. FML

#13841741
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56431) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I Went To Announce To My Son That I Am Pregnant Again. After I Told Him... He Looks Up An Yells: "fuck This Shit!" An Walks Out Of The Room. My Son Is Nine Yeres Old.

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64881) - you deserved it (27001)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19110)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

2day I witnessed a horrible car accident an was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said... ( It was terrible. It was lyk watching a silent movie... but there was sound! ) The interview has been ared 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (76494)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, ( Here's yur son, yur AA meeting's in an hour, let's go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)



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