Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (2784)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

#21408925
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (2416)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by a - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (1978)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (5779)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (5106)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11526) - you deserved it (36853)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML

#1517
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (2306)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)

Today, I left for vacation in Mexico. Upon landing, I received a text message from the guy I've been seeing. It read, "Sorry, I'm not boyfriend material. Have a good trip." I paid 75 cents to get dumped, internationally. FML

#740852
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55968) - you deserved it (5486)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:03am - love - by springbreak09 (woman) - Mexico (Quintana Roo)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

#3030130
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (43283)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by crap (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

#2549491
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53356) - you deserved it (2571)

On 06/02/2009 at 9:33pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML

#280040
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (11126)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

#1189680
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (4556)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

#5385997
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (2141)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by THATguy (man) - United States (Nebraska)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: