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Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (23125)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (3810)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

#21264917
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (5785)

On 09/25/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42949) - you deserved it (15742)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (14003)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35319) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

#21261117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (5182)

On 09/19/2014 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (9562)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (3480)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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