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Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

by thatsnice / 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

by ohdearyme / 01/09/2015 at 7:06am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

by wtfdaughter / 02/03/2015 at 11:59am / Brazil (Pernambuco) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML

by nodoggforme / 01/30/2015 at 7:13pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

by hard work doesn't work / 03/13/2015 at 2:21am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Health

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

by biblepain / 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

by poor baby / 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

by kalvin / 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

by kmctl / 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

by jared576 / 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

by GlueAndCarrots / 05/29/2015 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Love