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Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31353) - you deserved it (3722)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (13638)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34083) - you deserved it (2901)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (2236)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (4236)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (4650)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (6705)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35744) - you deserved it (21617)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (2564)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39247) - you deserved it (3921)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (5500)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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