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Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (3358)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

#18451587
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9910) - you deserved it (26139)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:29am - work - by JB - United States

Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML

#18016241
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/18/2011 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (1851)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

#20399681
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

#20537852
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2806)

On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45425) - you deserved it (6909)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

#21134956
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (5506)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by romancocks - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (8471)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)



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