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Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (7254)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (2005)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

#21196551
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (4969)

On 07/02/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (5958)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (15564)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50414) - you deserved it (4706)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34505) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (7754)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (4235)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37732) - you deserved it (17641)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (3873)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37718) - you deserved it (6334)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (8268)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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