Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14940) - you deserved it (34125)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25204) - you deserved it (1893)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (13410)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32922) - you deserved it (2699)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (5701)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (1776)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (6141)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (25687)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38969) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (2488)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28046) - you deserved it (3395)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: