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Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

by Allen / 05/26/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad decided to clean out my car and "accidentally" threw away my $520 tax refund check. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

by Mavis / 02/03/2009 at 2:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I went on a group job interview, where all the applicants seem to have the same qualifications. When the interviewer dismissed all of us but the prettiest girl, outraged, I told him he was a prejudiced pig, and should be ashamed of himself. Apparently she was the only one who had a car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

by stuff / 08/16/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

by Unemployed / 09/30/2009 at 5:03am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work

Today, waiting for the bus, this creepy guy in the terminal kept staring at me. Feeling creeped out, I started walking, knowing I could pick up the bus down the street. When the bus drove up, it was almost completely full and the only open seat was next to the creepy dude from the bus station. FML

by WhyMe / 09/25/2009 at 11:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

by 3lavyaa / 10/07/2009 at 8:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

by WhoDoYouLove6208 / 10/11/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

by nobffs / 01/01/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

by Female / 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm / United States / Work