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Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Geek

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

by lonely loser / 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

by Tampax / 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm / Spain (Castilla-La Mancha) / Health

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

by rejected / 10/02/2014 at 4:56am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Work

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

by Twysted91 / 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2015 at 2:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

by unsuspectingmom / 01/22/2015 at 6:32am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

by briang959 / 01/30/2015 at 6:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

by FunGhoost / 02/20/2015 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad spent 30 minutes incorrectly correcting me about our legal system. He thinks he knows more than me because he's been divorced twice. I'm a lawyer. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous