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Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (6046)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

#20829072
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (9026)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by whyyjustwhy - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47988) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44727) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41954) - you deserved it (5561)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (6679)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (2341)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44706) - you deserved it (3391)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (4522)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (52994)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50080) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (3642)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India



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