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Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

#21039686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49330) - you deserved it (3987)

On 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

#21071932
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16431) - you deserved it (45998)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38163) - you deserved it (4008)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (10607)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

#21044115
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40723) - you deserved it (3795)

On 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Xpload (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (2988)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

#21041939
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (4690)

On 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (47064)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46659) - you deserved it (3919)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (5882)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

#21053604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (47295)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36192) - you deserved it (7516)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

#21065212
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (10320)

On 02/19/2014 at 2:17am - misc - by thisismyawkwardface (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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