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Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm / Singapore / Transportation

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

by anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

by kennyjhynes / 06/23/2014 at 9:56am / United States / Kids

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Geek

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

by lonely loser / 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

by rejected / 10/02/2014 at 4:56am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Work

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

by Tampax / 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm / Spain (Castilla-La Mancha) / Health

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

by Twysted91 / 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2015 at 2:01am / United States / Miscellaneous