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Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML

#21110183
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (5425)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:48am - misc - by brodinn (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53905) - you deserved it (4154)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (12537)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45661) - you deserved it (3895)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58738) - you deserved it (5692)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (10650)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52755) - you deserved it (4922)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (4519)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43405) - you deserved it (4537)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (4125)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML



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