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Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

#21185267
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45600) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (5642)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (2979)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46210) - you deserved it (14220)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (4033)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41595) - you deserved it (13562)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (4143)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (2542)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18369) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore



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