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Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

#20754769
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (3473)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48487) - you deserved it (4586)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (19632)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (4473)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (4897)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (4562)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (7539)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

#20777668
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39176) - you deserved it (10675)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45241) - you deserved it (7914)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML



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