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Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (5695)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37017) - you deserved it (2399)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (7104)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (3871)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (5714)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (6872)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (2844)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44734) - you deserved it (6822)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45229) - you deserved it (4746)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (39375)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37790) - you deserved it (6017)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version



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