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Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (6304)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (41264)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (2750)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (15335)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

#21326870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (2743)

On 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm - animals - by woofwoof - Turkey (Izmir)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39982) - you deserved it (2228)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37056) - you deserved it (2401)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2893)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (4108)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (6551)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands



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