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Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37513) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (7518)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48892) - you deserved it (2668)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

#20971993
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (4863)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm - misc - by squirts -

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48722) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (3765)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (6710)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (10482)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43752) - you deserved it (5385)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37877) - you deserved it (5058)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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