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Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56807) - you deserved it (4997)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (2628)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (23345)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (5899)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (8019)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (3944)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38761) - you deserved it (3969)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46720) - you deserved it (4165)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47098) - you deserved it (5461)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

#21150394
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42319) - you deserved it (5448)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by thankssiren (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (3712)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML



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