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Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (5189)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47954) - you deserved it (3879)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (20486)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43812) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (3360)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (4423)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49444) - you deserved it (9345)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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