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Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44047) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45003) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (21074)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38002) - you deserved it (2415)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (11213)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47781) - you deserved it (4287)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (2900)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36010) - you deserved it (20567)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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