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Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (6167)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (5073)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39887) - you deserved it (7405)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49070) - you deserved it (3902)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49426) - you deserved it (8408)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

#21043493
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (3426)

On 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm - work - by smileydays - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45684) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (4852)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34144) - you deserved it (14450)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (3238)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42208) - you deserved it (6313)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (2909)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)



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