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Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (4034)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

#21097662
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37505) - you deserved it (9301)

On 03/27/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by Dragoness11 - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

#21151195
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45414) - you deserved it (7344)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm - health - by 5p4571k (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

#21153823
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (4265)

On 05/27/2014 at 8:13pm - health - by cc13799 - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (3613)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (8668)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38838) - you deserved it (2837)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
72 comments

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (9106)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (5517)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, my parents grounded me because I refused to do my little sister's homework for her. FML

#21337837
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37358) - you deserved it (2390)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by MovingOut (man) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (4525)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)



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