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Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

#6660258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13671) - you deserved it (24293)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

#6613225
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (12167)

On 12/05/2009 at 6:24am - misc - by someonesomething - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

#7294693
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:18am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (3669)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (15181)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

#11036363
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

#13600670
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (3712)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML

#14117302
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38007) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

#13345862
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (26652)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

#14319406
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (5150)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (7988)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (21428)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)



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