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Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39732) - you deserved it (3893)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51811) - you deserved it (4483)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (2762)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (5500)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (3973)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (4810)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44744) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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