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Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

#13625422
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (7852)

On 10/28/2010 at 10:19am - work - by kaz89 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML

#10578694
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (3444)

On 05/16/2010 at 10:24pm - love - by jolene11 - United States

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (2267)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML

#14659037
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Monaco

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

#15576285
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (27132)

On 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by nicky (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

#20500469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (2008)

On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (26938)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (16183)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48139) - you deserved it (4731)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40404) - you deserved it (2589)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)



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