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Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46510) - you deserved it (4613)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (4927)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (3307)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (6371)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (4731)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (3719)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (3956)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47700) - you deserved it (3908)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (36057)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49563) - you deserved it (4491)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (3334)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States



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