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Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (3910)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (9152)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

#20981967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (2064)

On 12/05/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Lulu - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (6337)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47253) - you deserved it (5507)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45142) - you deserved it (3701)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (6551)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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