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Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (3885)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (4725)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (47122)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48407) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (4221)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49018) - you deserved it (4359)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
108 comments


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