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Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (2920)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (6175)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (2478)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42635) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34111) - you deserved it (3066)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46530) - you deserved it (5550)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (5259)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (3507)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you deserved it (5765)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (4423)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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