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Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (4675)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3060)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50939) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (49703)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (38627)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49901) - you deserved it (5754)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (8132)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46974) - you deserved it (4372)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

#20914586
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (21762)

On 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm - money - by oneiPodlighter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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