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Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (3913)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40954) - you deserved it (4766)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (10360)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (19271)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (3731)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53544) - you deserved it (6826)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31462) - you deserved it (2965)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (4365)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51801) - you deserved it (7187)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33985) - you deserved it (53149)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML



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