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Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (3628)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59707) - you deserved it (28469)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (55523)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42159) - you deserved it (7285)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (6531)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45103) - you deserved it (6317)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (6078)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (16259)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54269) - you deserved it (7401)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53463) - you deserved it (8995)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42356) - you deserved it (9482)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (44272)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)



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