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Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (3186)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (6053)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (7190)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46979) - you deserved it (4313)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (6520)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36420) - you deserved it (4296)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44902) - you deserved it (6297)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (16211)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (8509)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

#21187386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44772) - you deserved it (5574)

On 06/25/2014 at 12:29am - misc - by pierced. - United States (Nevada)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (2967)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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