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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (5662)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46094) - you deserved it (5262)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (10325)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40643) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (12845)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (4872)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

#4318631
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (4171)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm - work - by caiti (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

#759
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (6450)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

#3203047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (6888)

On 06/25/2009 at 11:37am - misc - by mickstinator - United States (Texas)

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49671) - you deserved it (18039)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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