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Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176) - you deserved it (47509)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (4348)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (4590)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

#607
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (4693)

On 12/27/2008 at 3:23am - misc - by TodX - Sent from mobile version

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (2312)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

#6610013
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (5744)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:29am - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

#8293318
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (4095)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (1765)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was called up about a job I'd recently applied for. I was overly excited to tell them I'd be there on Monday. Then I remembered I canceled my car insurance due to financial difficulties. I have no way of getting there. FML

#13446439
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (7784)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

#19378984
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2389)

On 03/30/2012 at 9:43pm - health - by Fractured - United States



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