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Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

#14510501
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

#19243809
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (2716)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:48am - work - by Katie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

#15514650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (4044)

On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States

Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML

#15943696
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (16755)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21am - money - by uncbballwins -

Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML

#17032742
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (4426)

On 07/08/2011 at 8:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

#17916897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2632)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by grubbieduc - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my 5-gallon glass vase/aquarium was leaking at the base. When I went to move the vase so I could transfer everything to a new aquarium, the bottom completely detached, sending water, sand, sea shells and fish crap everywhere. FML

#18499950
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25400) - you deserved it (5334)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (3306)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (7756)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

#20402048
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7635) - you deserved it (52964)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (2610)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

#20527738
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29827) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/02/2013 at 2:23am - love - by 081013 - United States (Ohio)



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