Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (4626)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46479) - you deserved it (5547)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34098) - you deserved it (4681)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46963) - you deserved it (5248)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34079) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50011) - you deserved it (5762)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43281) - you deserved it (4414)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49562) - you deserved it (4157)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36576) - you deserved it (8698)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: