Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (6216)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48361) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (5740)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (4402)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43699) - you deserved it (3181)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37358) - you deserved it (2911)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (2826)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

#20838741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48905) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: