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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (2631)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss confided in me that when a gay person visits his house, he discreetly follows them around and cleans anything they touched and everywhere they sat with disinfectant wipes. I've worked for him for 7 years but he doesn't know I'm gay. FML

#21430685
116 comments

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

#4318631
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (4268)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm - work - by caiti (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

#759
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (6620)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7349) - you deserved it (65448)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

#3203047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41320) - you deserved it (6979)

On 06/25/2009 at 11:37am - misc - by mickstinator - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

#1481817
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (61710)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50562) - you deserved it (18364)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

#3959281
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (4408)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:03pm - misc - by uncleaning (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

#4800729
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (6920)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

#5252431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45283) - you deserved it (2876)

On 09/14/2009 at 3:28pm - love - by thisistypical (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

#5966338
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (34046)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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