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Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45141) - you deserved it (3740)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38392) - you deserved it (3120)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43040) - you deserved it (6036)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51589) - you deserved it (7173)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

#21124599
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (6626)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (52960)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (16152)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (6472)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (5476)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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