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Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50727) - you deserved it (4821)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (11111)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (5402)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53451) - you deserved it (10273)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (5695)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51274) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43839) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (5766)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50735) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56079) - you deserved it (3454)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (4963)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (3001)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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