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Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (3990)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43032) - you deserved it (3439)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (6443)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (3197)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (3623)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (25628)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (6988)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (6306)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56775) - you deserved it (5093)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (5035)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49240) - you deserved it (6074)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States



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