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Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (4473)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59004) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33908) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33944) - you deserved it (4667)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (5120)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4762)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (38446)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49459) - you deserved it (5711)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML



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