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Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (6086)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42741) - you deserved it (3180)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (6549)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (3681)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3216)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50021) - you deserved it (4159)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (4744)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55965) - you deserved it (4156)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (34016)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (6578)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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