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Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

by caiti / 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

by singlesoon / 08/25/2009 at 12:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

by embarassed / 10/12/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

by Rman / 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

by random123 / 11/29/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

by mylifesucks / 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

by Queasy / 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

by dinosaur / 01/10/2011 at 5:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

by hellosir / 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm / United States / Health