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Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#2529769
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (24535)

On 06/02/2009 at 11:33am - animals - by dumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

#2303239
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58728) - you deserved it (3686)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

#402004
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39151) - you deserved it (54045)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by not_so_sweet_sixteen - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (5729)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48293) - you deserved it (7599)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

#5793907
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (6582)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18626) - you deserved it (40315)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (7518)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (5734)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

#14179989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30532) - you deserved it (4997)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (2589)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

#13603751
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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