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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16471) - you deserved it (77999)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (7200)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (3463)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43877) - you deserved it (13153)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44617) - you deserved it (3370)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (3435)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (23307)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (5701)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

#36
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (5654)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (10656)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9622) - you deserved it (21494)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML

#3132643
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (2782)

On 06/22/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by highschoolnobody (woman) - United States



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