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Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

#20753667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (8007)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by damniphone - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

#20753013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48727) - you deserved it (4394)

On 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm - misc - by arse-face (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40832) - you deserved it (8471)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (4793)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (45244)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47968) - you deserved it (8450)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

#20772448
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49934) - you deserved it (4248)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by random person - United States

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50713) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (5134)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (6020)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)



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