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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48844) - you deserved it (3877)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49741) - you deserved it (3034)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52389) - you deserved it (3872)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (3378)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

#20622139
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50502) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50419) - you deserved it (4514)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (41818)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (3310)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (23592)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16192) - you deserved it (36352)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46399) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60043) - you deserved it (4614)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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