Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24782) - you deserved it (8494)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43165) - you deserved it (8891)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45684) - you deserved it (3563)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

#20765072
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (8909)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

#20874631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44276) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm - money - by Sean - United States

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

#20917563
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (3773)

On 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (9482)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML

#20909154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (5968)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:29am - health - by Angrily Paranoid (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (11002)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: