Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34189) - you deserved it (4520)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (9169)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33779) - you deserved it (12125)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

#607
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (4674)

On 12/27/2008 at 3:23am - misc - by TodX - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

#2482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

#6610013
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (5641)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:29am - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (3129)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

#8293318
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (4085)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23188) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

#9064267
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/14/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by kkbb - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: