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Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48253) - you deserved it (4261)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (4565)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

#20958238
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (2803)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:00am - misc - by Eggs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (3308)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
71 comments

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44737) - you deserved it (11644)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (11113)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (4449)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38764) - you deserved it (3375)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (4492)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39551) - you deserved it (6612)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49997) - you deserved it (3780)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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