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Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (4646)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4144)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (2305)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (2432)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

#14
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (73246)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

#457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (11303)

On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

#18460335
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2185)

On 12/08/2011 at 1:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

#173471
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68888) - you deserved it (2692)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Meh (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

#37310
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45358) - you deserved it (5378)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by kiwi (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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