Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (3268)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

#7514878
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:40am - love - by Phoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (6957)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

#11798566
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (8508)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

#10834271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (14047)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by crashingdown - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (3232)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML

#13558555
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9023) - you deserved it (38994)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (4796)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (3244)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: