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Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (5068)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

#21145215
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50154) - you deserved it (5015)

On 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (17392)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML

#21315542
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:10am - work - by anyoldnamewilldo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (2363)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

#21368890
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (2792)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

#21374802
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (5210)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

#2658962
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10590) - you deserved it (54905)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39811) - you deserved it (8927)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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