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Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (4531)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

#19542663
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (13182)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Matt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

#19635056
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7800) - you deserved it (24186)

On 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm - money - by Starving Student - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (3965)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, as I left work for the parking lot, I noticed two full trashbags duct-taped to my car. They were marked as my property. According to the note left on my windshield, my ex-roommate thought he'd be kind enough to bring my things to me to save me the trip. FML

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

#20000200
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16833) - you deserved it (1988)

On 08/03/2012 at 10:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12200) - you deserved it (24503)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (1605)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1811)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (1833)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States



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