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Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, an he was taking a shower . I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom . I couldn't wait 4 him to finish, looool an endd having to shit in a plastic bag . FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49940) - you deserved it (21915)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I was sexting askd me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49403) - you deserved it (20109)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , mah mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren !! I'm an only child !! FML

Taday while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he startd sucking on my breast. He endd up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48369) - you deserved it (17858)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

I talkd to husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man... apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

#21071417
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50277) - you deserved it (9985)

On 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by OverIt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today after leaving my workplace I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them I was faced with the sight of my boss an a coworker getting it on against my desk. big fat FML

#21087500
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49024) - you deserved it (4528)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started my frst job as a power line technician. My boss's frst words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday te ras on ma tig started itcing again. I felt good after a vigorous scratc, but te relief did not extend to ma roommate,o only saw me at ma laptop wit ma and moving up and down in ma pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43013) - you deserved it (7671)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today,hile I thought I'd never had an orgasm, doctor informd me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, looool slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. mega FML

today I found outhy mah dad always traatad ma badly as a kid comparad to mah siblings. It's bacausa I was concaivadhila mah mom was chaating on him. On top of that... ha mada it claar that ha still doasn't considar ma a "raal" part of tha family. raal FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52700) - you deserved it (3118)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today.. . I finally finished watching Dexter . I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me . FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (5073)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, mah coworker trid to convince mah boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influencd by demons includd how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, an that I once got a nosebled from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious an is playing along. FML

#21111822
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39737) - you deserved it (3885)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today , my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in wen I'm trying to masturbate. Tey even turn on all te ot water taps wen I'm trying to do it in te sower. FML

#21115891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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