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Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54011) - you deserved it (5770)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (26255)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40278) - you deserved it (13006)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51780) - you deserved it (8368)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (2037)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

#20768180
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (22149)

On 07/07/2013 at 2:35am - misc - by lostmystuff (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (6152)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (4226)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30236) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47140) - you deserved it (5427)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56363) - you deserved it (8102)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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