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Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (16384)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (11481)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (4706)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (4162)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17705) - you deserved it (41434)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4221)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1351)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I broke, shoveled, and salted the ice covering my entire driveway. The size is roughly 8 cars' worth, and took me two hours of back-breaking effot to clear. I completely forgot that it was supposed to rain later today. FML

#3014
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6900) - you deserved it (13480)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by bedrockmike - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML

#1325
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5086) - you deserved it (13822)

On 01/16/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Alex - United States (Arizona)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13759) - you deserved it (5432)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

#7010601
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (1596)

On 12/29/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Stumanji (man) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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