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Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (27987)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (3208)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (7953)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (3804)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

#21019101
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43281) - you deserved it (8887)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by CatLady - United States (California)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47493) - you deserved it (20964)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43308) - you deserved it (4972)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

#21034982
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (7021)

On 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by idiot says pussy (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (55961)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44765) - you deserved it (10138)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (5182)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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